You don't have to feel festive. Grief and joy can sit at the same table, and God is gentle with both.
“He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds.”
Verses for a hard holiday season
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“Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”
For the dread of the days leading up to it.
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“For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.”
Christmas began in a dark, hurting world. He came right into the middle of it.
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“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”
For when the season asks more than you have.
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“For his anger endureth but a moment; in his favour is life: weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
This night is long. It is not forever.
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“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.”
A verse for families: there is room for both at the same table.
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“Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.”
The God of all comfort - including this kind.
Also helpful: Bible Verses for Grief and Loss · Bible Verses for Loneliness
Gentle ways to get through the holidays
- Say their name. Share one memory at the table, or ask others to. Many people are waiting for permission to talk about them.
- Keep a small tradition for them. Light a candle, hang their ornament, cook their recipe, or set out their photo.
- Give yourself permission to change plans. You can skip an event, leave early, or do the holiday differently this year. That is not failing.
- Tell one person how you really are. A friend, a pastor, a counselor. Grief shared is lighter to carry.
- Let yourself feel joy too. Laughing on a holiday does not mean you loved them less.
Questions about holiday grief
How do I get through the first Christmas without my loved one?
Lower your expectations, plan the day with an exit if you need one, and choose one way to remember them on purpose. Lean on people who knew them. The first year is often the hardest; it is okay if this one is simply about getting through.
Is it normal for grief to feel worse during the holidays?
Yes, very. Holidays are full of traditions and memories, so the absence shows everywhere. Even Jesus wept at the grave of His friend (John 11:35) - sorrow is not a lack of faith.
A short prayer for the holidays when you are grieving
God of all comfort, this season hurts without them. When everyone around me is celebrating, sit with me in the quiet. Thank you for the love we shared and the memories I carry. Give me strength for each day, little moments of peace, and the hope of seeing them again. Amen.
If this feels like more than you can carry, please don't carry it alone. Talk to someone you trust, a pastor, or a doctor. In the US you can call or text 988 any time to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.